Meals From The Marketplace

            Nothing against Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, two fine talents in the entertainment world, but as dual hosts of the annual Academy Awards extravaganza this year, they were pretty much a flop.

            Over the course of three and a half hours, the two engaged in only one meaningful stretch of what might be called comedy, and that was after they had descended to the stage from the rafters in an elaborate carriage that had nothing to do with what had preceded its appearance or what followed it.  It just seemed to be some producer’s idea of something clever, maybe even unexpected.  Instead, it was just about as pointless as the following back-and-forth between the two, which primarily focused on introductions of the actors nominated for awards. 

            George Clooney appeared to be the designated punching bag for the evening, as Martin and Baldwin threw more than a few barbs at him.  They all fell flat and felt forced, as did most of the other one-liners that had been written for the two.

            Actually, someone named Neil Patrick Harris opened the show, with a song-and-dance routine that seemed to be an effort at explaining why Martin and Baldwin were co-hosting.  “No One Wants to Do It Alone” was one of two big production numbers that featured more dancers than there were nominees.  It was a tad more impressive than the second such offering, a montage of dance sequences, choreographed to the melodies of the five nominated movie scores, that was heavy on gymnastic athleticism and not much else.

            Otherwise, the show, which aired on ABC last Sunday night, went pretty much as expected, which is to say, it was long, with moments here and there that made it worth watching and with many more that were too heavily scripted to be especially interesting.

            For the record, “The Hurt Locker” won the Best Picture award along with five others, including a first-female-ever best director (Kathryn Bigelow) and the original screenplay (by co-producer Mark Boal).  “Avatar,” the big money-making film of the year, nabbed three minor prizes for its technical work.

            Speeches, as always, dominated the show.  Most were forgettable, but a few were moving, including the one by Christoph Waltz (best supporting actor for “Inglourious Basterds”).  Jeff Bridges (best actor for “Crazy Heart”) rambled like his character in “The Big Lebowski” in between thanking his deceased parents, and Sandra Bullock (best actress for “The Blind Side”) also rambled until she thanked her mother.  She also said that Meryl Streep is a great kisser, for what that piece of information is worth.

            Among the other highlights (relatively speaking of course) was the tribute to the recently deceased John Hughes that was introduced by Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick and included snippets from many of the films Hughes conceived and directed/produced.  (It’s a surprisingly impressive list, including “Uncle Buck,” “Planes, Trains and Automobiles,” “Ferris Buehler’s Day Off,” “Pretty in Pink,” “The Breakfast Club,” and “Home Alone.”)

            This year, for the annual “In Memoriam” segment (honoring those in the industry who died since the last show), singer James Taylor provided a mournful treatment of the Beatles’ “In My Life.”  It was modestly effective as the photos and brief film clips of the recently departed appeared on screen.

            The evening did not include the big tributes to living legends that have been regular events in past years.  Thus, no one was feted with the Irving Thalberg award, and no one received a lifetime achievement award.  Instead, there was a throw-away segment in honor of horror films that was heavy on Hitchcock (“Psycho” and “The Birds”) and Kubrick (“The Shining”) with a slew of scenes from slasher and monster flicks thrown in for good measure.

            Not much else caught our attention as being noteworthy.  Ben Stiller probably embarrassed himself more than anyone else (leaving aside several women who wore dresses that just did not work for them) when he appeared made up like a character from “Avatar” to announce the best make-up award.  He tried too hard to be funny, which seems to be his M.O. (based on past appearances at the same awards show).

            Of course, everyone tries too hard to be funny at the Oscars.  At least most of those announcing the awards were all business.  The banter between presenters that has so often dragged down previous shows was kept to a minimum this year.

            And Mr. Baldwin and Mr. Martin were, for the most part, inoffensive and irrelevant.  It’s faint praise to be sure, but it could have been worse. They could have had bigger roles and more to do.

            The annual Academy Awards extravaganza will be showcased again this weekend (Sunday night on ABC), but this year’s broadcast will feature a new element that may or may not add some viewer appeal to the festivities.

            The categories (24 in all) are unchanged.  The usual yawners, e.g., Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing (do we really need two awards for sound?), Best Makeup, Best Costumes, will hopefully take as little time as possible.  (Note to winners in these categories: we don’t want to know who was on your staff or how many children you have.) 

            The obligatory “thank you” speeches are one of the many reasons to wince while watching the show.  But the main reason the awards broadcast is so often derided by knowledgeable observers is that the films that win the big awards are often far less deserving than those that don’t.  Indeed, in the best picture category, many of the best films in any given year are often not even nominated, let alone chosen as the winner.

             Perhaps with that thought in mind, the Academy’s Board of Governors decided after last year’s event to expand the number of nominees for the coveted top award from five to ten.  (Cynics claim the change was made to increase advertising opportunities, while purists deride the decision for watering down the significance of receiving a nomination.)

             Of course, that decision gave rise to the strong likelihood that a less deserving film might end up winning, with as little as eleven percent of the total vote.  (I’ll spare everyone the mathematical explanation: trust me on this one.) 

             And so, the Academy higher-ups added a new element to the voting procedure.  Instead of just voting for one film, academy members were told this year to rank all ten films, from one to ten, with the voting then to be tabulated on a power basis (presumably with ten points for a number one pick, nine for a number two and so on).

             Thus, the best picture will be the film with the highest point total, rather than the highest vote total.  That change may not mean much to the viewing public, but it certainly provides a new way to approach a best-films-of-the-year column.

             With that thought in mind, here’s the way I would have filled out my ballot, had the Academy given me one.  I’ve ranked the ten nominated films from least to most worthy, the ranking based entirely on my personal appreciation for the complete artistic effort involved in the creation of the movie.

             10.  “An Education” – The critics loved this movie, which made my disappointment about it all the more resonant.  The story is odd from the start (a sixteen-year-old gal in London is pursued by a mid-30s-year-old guy), and the ending is so pat that it feels more like a Hollywood script re-write than the truly original one the critics wrote about.

             9.  “The Blind Side” – This one is pleasant enough, as movies based on allegedly true stories go, and it features a nice turn by Sandra Bullock in a more-or-less dramatic role.  But it isn’t a substantial enough film to merit an Oscar nomination and, for that reason, doesn’t merit much more comment here.

             8.  “Up” – The opening sequence in this otherwise fairly typical Disney animated feature (complete with talking dogs) is poignant and inspired.  And that sequence might be enough to vault the film to an Oscar in the Best Animated Film category.  But it’s hard to imagine it would have gotten a nomination in a five-film Best Picture category.

             7.  “Avatar” – James Cameron’s mega-successful follow-up to “Titanic” has similar amounts of audience appeal, but once again that appeal is largely built around technical achievements the likes of which have never been seen before.  Unfortunately, the actual story those achievements support is not nearly as impressive.

             6.  “District Nine” – This one is the oddball in the bunch.  It certainly wouldn’t have garnered a nomination in the old five-film format.  As it is, it’s a decent sci-fi flick, complete with a none-too-subtle theme that the excessive violence doesn’t completely hide.  It’s an imperfect effort, to be sure, but not without redeeming aspects.

             5.  “Precious” – Talk about dark subjects, this film explores subjects about as dark as you can get (child abuse, incest and inner-city depravation).  Yet, for all the controversy that it has created, it deserves attention, both for its artistic excellence (including great performances by Gabourey Sidibe and Mo’nique) and for its surprisingly upbeat message of hope.  I applaud the effort and the result.

             4.  “Up in the Air” – Almost anything with George Clooney is probably worthy of attention these days (“Michael Clayton” being the most recent previous example).  This film says a lot about modern life, both in the obvious play to the damaged economy and in the more nuanced presentation of the uncommitted lifestyle that Clooney’s character portrays.  It’s an excellent film.

             3.  “Inglourious Basterds” – Quintin Tarantino’s latest shock-filled homage to film-making is loaded with cinematic moments-to-remember.  Sadly, they all involve graphic displays of violence.  I’m still waiting for this excellent director to put his considerable talents behind a venture that shows some humanity.  Still, give the devil his due; this is one hell of a movie.

             2.  “A Serious Man” – The Coen Brothers (Joel and Ethan) are always inventive and interesting, and in this film, they get philosophical as well.  It isn’t so much a deep film as it is a thoughtful one.  That it is also abundantly entertaining makes it one of their best ever.

             1.  “The Hurt Locker” – It begins with a quote from Chris Hedges’ insightful book, “War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning” and builds that basic theme into its central character.  The film makes a strong statement about the reality of war and the psyche of those who need to feel that reality.  It succeeds in being both a small film and a large one.

             Of course, my pick has almost no chance of winning.  “Avatar” will get that honor.  Why?  It made the most money.